alone

do you ever feel alone? not lonely alone, but like you’re the only person who could possibly be having a certain struggle? for the longest while i’ve felt that way. i have so many sins that i struggle with, no matter how hard i try not to give in to them, sometimes, i just fail miserably. they leave me feeling horrible, and if they make me feel that way, i certainly don’t want anyone else to know about them because they will think the same ugly things about me, that i think about myself. so i stuff these sins away in a little drawer way in the back of my mind, and promise myself that i won’t do it again…..but of course, i do.

for the longest time, i thought that no one i associate with could possibly understand or relate to my struggles, and if i told them, they would judge me and think i was a terrible person. silence. silence is best because then i can pretend to be better than i really am. we all do it. we wear masks. we pretend things are not as they really are. we don’t want to be found out. no one ever wants to be found a fraud, but we all are…in little ways. but guess what? i’m learning that i’m not alone. in fact, i’m learning that people i look up to, admire, and thought were completely pulled together at all moments in their lives, are in fact coming unglued, just like me. how can that be? how can these people that i have built up so much in my mind have the same struggles as me? well, they do! how much easier would it be to deal with our struggles, if we were more open to sharing them with others? by sharing them, we are in fact acknowledging that our struggles are real. no more hiding them. no more pretending. i believe that our struggles can be a tool to help and empower others, we just have to get past the fear of letting others know that we are not as great as we would like for them to believe we are.

one of my biggest struggles is losing patience with my kids, which results in me yelling at them because i don’t take the time to just stop, breathe, and think first. i let my frustration get the best of me, and i always feel awful afterwards. i’m working on it and taking it one day at a time, but i am hopeful that one day i will be able to overcome this struggle with much prayer, grace, and help from God. it may seem like a simple thing, but for me it is huge. this book { unglued } has also been a wonderful resource. the devotional book is so insightful. i also adore her facebook posts. they serve as great reminders throughout the day to help me remember not to come unglued.

so what is one of your struggles and who would it help if you shared it with them?